A conversation with a 5 year old

Driving home from school, stopped at a light

Max: mommy, that dog right there is peeing

Me: yes

Max: why?

Me: because he had to pee

Max: *pause*. Mommy?

Me: yes

Max:  he was lifting his leg, which means he’s a boy dog

Me: yes

Moment of silence

Max: mommy?

Me: yes?

Max: how do girl dogs pee?                                                                                       

Me: they squat down

Max: hmm. Do you squat down?

Me: no I sit on the toilet

Max: because you pee out of your butt?

Me: *silence*  ( i am going to let this question pass for now)

Max: mommy?

Me: yes?

Max: did ralphie lift his leg?  (ralphie being our former dog)

Me: yes

30 seconds of blissful silence

Max: mommy?

Me: yes?

Max: how do dog’s poop?

It’s just endless

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