I had coffee with two friends today (plus our three little children under the age of 2…..I’m sure you can guess how much actual conversation occurred) and we got on the subject of birth control. Specifically how we would die a thousand deaths if any us fell pregnant with a third child. My friend K’s husband has already stepped up to the plate and done his duty, which is called vasectomy. She endured 18 months of pregnancy (actually 20 months really, but that’s a rant for another day), countless hours of labor and 2 c-sections. Hence her husband felt that she had done enough. Shockingly, my friend T’s husband has also said “you’ve done enough…it’s my turn”. (He, of course, has done nothing whatsoever, but at least he said those words).
K has never said these words. He dances around the subject like a heterosexual Michael Flatley (who I guess is technically straight but whatevs), whirling words and tapping out excuses that make my head spin.
Why are men so scared of this? Getting a bunch of Valium, enduring 10 minutes of pain-free nothing and then lying around with ice on your nuts and being waited on by your woman? Sounds brutal. It definitely sounds as bad as my months of pregnancy, 19 hours of labor, no epidural, 2 hours of pushing and then hemorrhaging and almost dying situation.
I would say “oh well, I’m going off birth control and whatever happens, happens!” but guess who gets to have even more fun times if it happens? ME.